


Remember Me

by reddies_eggos1711



Category: IT (2017)
Genre: M/M, Reddie, angst is the only way i'm coping, but like there's death, but ya know, eh, i guess you could say i want this movie already, i'm doing this instead of my history assessment and honestly idc, it's shit but someone'll read it anyway, like canon but not? because no?, not graphic or anything, obviously, spoilers if you don't know the basic plot line already i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-24 11:22:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20357653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reddies_eggos1711/pseuds/reddies_eggos1711
Summary: It was at that moment – sitting on the dirty alley way floor, trying to console their crying friend – that the reality of the situation finally hit.The seven Losers had become five.They'd lost them....Nobody deals with loss the same way. Richie can't deal at all.





	Remember Me

**Author's Note:**

> who's losing their actual shit about the movie? huh? ME

_“Don’t call me Eds,” He said, and smiled._

_He raised his left hand and touched Richie’s cheek._

_Richie was crying._

_“You know I… I…”_

_Eddie closed his eyes thinking how to finish And while he was still thinking it over_

_He died._

_“Fuck you, Bitch!” He cried suddenly and kicked the door shut with his foot._

_“Why’d you do that?” Beverly asked._

_“I don’t know.” Richie said_

_But he knew well enough._

…

It was all Richie could see. All he could hear.

The Losers were celebrating. Drinking and cheering to their defeat. And Richie understood. They deserved to. But he couldn’t.

He couldn’t sit around listening to Mike’s toast or listen to Bev complimenting everyone because… he couldn’t hear them. All he could hear was Eddie.

_“You know I… I…”_

He couldn’t sit around watching Bev dance with Ben or see Bill talk to a barely there Audra because… he couldn’t see them. All he could see was Eddie.

_Eddie closed his eyes thinking how to finish and while he was still thinking it over, he died._

Richie knew they were upset too, they just chose not to show it. Unlike Richie. Richie was a wreck and they could all tell. While the booze made them happy and loopy, it only made Richie more depressed and irrational, until he eventually had to excuse himself from the table.

Out of worry, Bev followed.

He was standing out the back of the restaurant, pacing and looking like he had his heart ripped out. He had.

“Hey, Rich. How’re you doing?” She asked, though she knew he was doing well.

Violating everything they knew about Richie Tozier, he didn’t say anything.

“I know this is hard… we all know… but please don’t shut us out, Rich –”

“Do you know what he said to me? The night I left Derry? The last time I saw him as kids?”

Bev shook her head.

Richie laughed, but it wasn’t really a laugh. “He said ‘don’t forget me, Trashmouth’. And you know what I did?” Richie throws the beer bottle in his hand aggressively at the wall. It smashed loudly. “I fucking forgot him!”

Bev steps closer. “Richie, you know that wasn’t your fault.”

Richie ignored her. “Then… when we first entered Neibolt yesterday… we were alone and you know what he says to me? You know what he says?”

“Rich –”

“He said ‘if I disappear for good this time... promise you won't forget me’. It was like he was foreseeing what would happen. And you know what I said? I fucking said i wouldn't let him disappear again. I sure as fuck didn’t do that! And then he… and then he died and all I could fucking hear was his voice saying ‘remember me this time’ but the thing is, I can’t! I have to go back to LA and that means forgetting!”

“Richie, please –”

“I don’t want to forget him! I don’t want to forget what I felt for him! I want to remember, Bev, please let me remember!”

At that point Bev was in no position to stop Richie as he collapsed leaving her to catch him before he hit the ground.

“Hey, hey, listen to me… you _will not_ forget him, okay? You’ve been through too much to forget. And besides, we defeated it so the curse should be lifted, right? You’re gonna be fine.”

Richie didn’t say anything but he did start to cry. Bev was helpless to stop him or even calm him down.

At one point, Mike had come looking for them, worried when they hadn’t returned after a half hour. He saw the sight – oh, what a sight. A grown woman consoling a grown man in the alley behind a restaurant – and sent something on his phone and then joined the two.

Not a minute later – that’s what the text must’ve been – Ben and Bill came out too.

It was at that moment – sitting on the dirty alley way floor, trying to console their crying friend – that the reality of the situation finally hit.

The seven Losers had become five.

Bill began to cry as well, not fully sobbing but enough so that tears ran thick down his cheeks.

Ben was sniffling and Mike and Bev wore incredibly solemn expressions.

It was real.

They’d lost them.

They’d lost them and they knew they wouldn’t remember.

No matter how hard they tried.

…

No one knew where Richie went after the restaurant that night... though after the sun was in the sky the next day they wished they’d paid closer attention to his whereabouts.

In the light of the moon, the stench of alcohol radiating from him, Richie found himself walking. He didn’t know where to until he arrived. And before he knew it, he was sobbing again.

In his drunken state, his feet had taken him to _their_ place. The abandoned play park a block behind Eddie’s place where they went when Eddie couldn’t bare to be near his mother. It was somewhere only they knew. Not the other Losers. Not their parents. It was just _theirs_.

_His and Eddie’s_.

Only Eddie wasn’t here. Oh, how Richie wanted to be with Eddie. He didn’t want to forget. He _needed_ to remember.

At the point of the evening where the lights in the houses behind him began to flicker out, Richie made a decision that could make it happen.

In his pocket, still there from the day prior, was a bottle of Eddie’s prescription pain killers. Strong stuff, it was. Richie pulled it out and inspected the labels.

_Edward Kaspbrak_

The name that would haunt his thoughts until they were reunited.

There was a bunch of words he couldn’t pronounce but he didn't need to read them to know the pills were real. They weren’t _placebos_.

_“You know what these are? They’re gazebos! They’re bullshit!”_

They weren’t _placebos_.

They were real and there was enough.

Richie made it a game.

Remember something about Eddie that made him smile. Swallow a pill.

He’s super bossy. Swallow a pill.

He’s a little freaky about germs. Swallow a pill.

His nose scrunches up when he’s grossed out. Swallow a pill.

Richie does this until there remains only one pill left in the bottle.

_R + E_ _... Swallow the pill._

Richie doesn’t think a lot after that and when he does, his mind remains only on Eddie.

He isn’t found until the sun indicates midday the next day.

By that time though it’s already done.

The seven Losers have become four.

And everyone forgets.

**Author's Note:**

> update from after i've seen IT2 and i'm dead and it was glorious


End file.
